Hannah Grace Stelzl

Class of 2010

Graduate of Institute for Excellence in Christian Virtue

While at the ATI Nashville training conference, we heard Steve Dulin speak about taking sabbaticals 3 times each year. We were so inspired by what he said, we purposed to begin this ASAP. I took mine for 4 days at the end of June. I had a list of things I wanted to seek the LORD about, and my biggest desire was to experience the love of God in the way described in Ephesians 3. Just before leaving town, I had a physical therapy appointment and was telling my therapist (also a friend,) all about the journey I was about to embark on. She wisely said something like, “It sounds like you have your agenda all figured out.” I am a detail person, and I wanted to really  experience God and get some leading. I realized I needed to lay down my expectations and wait on the LORD.

When I arrived, I purposed to begin with a time of confession and repentance. It seems when life is moving so fast, my quiet time consists of reading the Word, bringing my grocery list of requests to God and confessing those glaring sins one can’t forget, (yelling at the kids, harsh discipline, disagreements with my spouse, etc.) Often the rush of the schedule and the demands of a large family make it difficult to allow the Spirit of God to quietly show me the attitudes behind the glaring sins and the real root causes of those sins. The first thing I learned on my Sabbatical was that confession and repentance are the key to drawing near to God, and that with unlimited time and quiet, He will show me things about myself that can’t be explored in a 1 hour quiet time. Unfortunately these things are painful, ugly, uncomfortable, and sometimes even surprising. As I spent that time, I began to see attitudes I was having that promoted the sins in my life. Things like presumption, a sense of God owing me something because of the promises in His Word, attitudes of unfairness and comparison, etc. We all need this time to let God  plumb the depths of our heart and reveal these things to us.

Several weeks before leaving for my sabbatical, I was reading in Luke 22:31-32 where Jesus says to Peter, “Simon, Simon, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted (means returned,) strengthen thy brethren.” Those words leaped off the page for me. It might as well have said “Tina, Tina…,” the words were so strong to me. I pondered what it meant. Was some great test coming? I confess I felt a bit afraid, but then had a sense that God would soon reveal what it meant for me. This came together for me on my sabbatical.

A bit of history is needed here. My life has been one of many sore and fiery trials. Satan was at work  very early in my life arranging many painful events even before turning 3 years old, with many more to follow. One of the most painful memories was my great grandfather dying on my 3rd birthday. He was the one person who really wanted to spend time with me and whose eyes lit up when I came in the room. When he died, the enemy of my soul seized the opportunity to plant the thought, “That is the kind of gift God gives to you on your special day!” All through my life I have questioned God’s love for me, and often with all the trials I have been through, my circumstances seemed to scream “He does not love you!” As I have tried so hard to serve God and kept trying to get the knowledge that he loved me into my  heart, I could not break out of listening to my circumstances. On my sabbatical, I cried out to God to understand why He didn’t rescue that little 3 year old from such fiery trials at such a young age. Where was His Father’s heart? Any earthly father would move in and rescue, or at the very least comfort and explain. This was the root of my questioning His love. Then He gave me a picture of Him sitting on His throne praying for me, and the words came back, “But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not. OK, so these were tests of my faith. ” A sense of unfairness rose up in me and I cried out to God, “But Peter was a grown man, Job had walked with God all his life, why a little 3 year old???” It was as if in the silence of the next few minutes He said to me, “I have a special plan for you that requires fiery trials and coming forth triumphantly.” Something in me seemed to quiet down, or come to rest that had been squirming and wrestling for a long time. I realized that those events from 0 to 3 years old were the beginning of sifting and all the trials between then and a huge trial that took place in 1999-2000 were all sifting with that huge trial being the culmination of the sifting. I realized that from 2000 until now I have been like Peter when he returned to his fishing, just doing what he knew, and what felt secure and solid. Then on my sabbatical it was like when Jesus came to Peter and said 3 times, “Peter, do you love me?” Jesus ended each time with, “feed my sheep.” Back in Luke He had said, “when thou are converted strengthen thy brethren.”  After surrendering and coming forth triumphantly, He wants us to strengthen others who are still squirming and wrestling. He wants us to beckon to them to keep believing, surrender and rest in Him. This is what Peter did, his hope was rekindled, his faith was rejuvenated, his passion blazed forth again, and he burst forth with a mission and a purpose. Are you going through a fiery trial that seems too much to bear? Or, has your life been a long string of fiery trials? Picture Him in prayer for you saying, “But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not.”

Several months ago we were asked to write a paragraph about what ATI (the homeschooling ministry we are a part of,) has done for us. The thought of summarizing that in 1 paragraph was so daunting, I could not figure out how to do it. While on this sabbatical, God gave me an analogy that enabled me to express this. Now if you are not in ATI, this will still apply to you, so keep reading   I had read the familiar Psalm 23 and had not gotten any new revelations about it. The next morning as I was waking up, the words, “Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me,” came back to me. I began to ponder, “Why is the shepherd’s rod and staff described as a comfort?” I began to think about the purpose and use of the rod and staff in the shepherds hand. He uses it to ward off enemies, to count the sheep so none is lost, to retrieve sheep who have wandered, to pull them out of thorny places, to guide them away from poisonous plants and to lead them to safe, green pastures. I realized that this is what ATI has done for us. It has clarified our vision, kept us from straying, pulled us back when we have begun to wander, protected us from and warned us of the lush looking, poisonous  plants of the world’s ways, and kept before our eyes the green pastures of God’s Word and principles. Each one of us needs a rod and staff in the hand of our Great Shepherd to do this for us. It may not be ATI for you, but you need to know what it is. What will keep your eyes on Him and His ways and keep reminding you, keep prodding you, keep retrieving you, and be a comfort to you? Make sure you know what your rod and staff is in your Great Shepherds hand, that when you think on it keeps you on the proper path and comforts you. It may be a variety of things, but know what they are, and keep them in sight.

What is a sabbatical? A sabbatical comes from the word sabbath. A sabbatical is an extended sabbath. It is a time to rest and reflect and seek God’s face. To enter into His presence, confession and repentance is the key. Begin with that. I remember thinking, how will I know what to do? How will I know where to read? How will I know He is speaking to me? Begin with confession and repentance and He will weave your path the rest of the way. How long should it be? Ask God. I went for 4 days, and each day built upon the last. It was just the right amount of time for what God had for me. Get alone with no distractions. Try not to have an agenda, His agenda will be different that yours For all you mothers: there is a special opportunity I want to make you aware of. ATI is hosting a Journey to the Heart retreat for mothers from September 22nd to October 2nd. This is a time to get away from the motherly routine and get quiet before the Lord, examine ourselves, and seek His face. You do not have to be a member of ATI to go. For more information go to www.ati.iblp.org.  Scroll down and click on Mother’s Journey 2010 under recent updates in the right hand column. I went to one last year and it was a tremendous blessing! I look forward to going again this year. Maybe I will see you there May The LORD Bless you as you seek His sabbath rest and revelations

Tomorrow (at 3:00 AM) begins an exciting, thrilling adventure for the entire family as we head off to visit relatives in Pennsylvania. It’s been a while since Hannah and I were in PA with the family, as they visited twice while we were on different Journeys. This time we are all going together and will be staying with a man my parents met at a Health Conference back in 2006. He has graciously opened his home up to us many times over the past 4 years, and it is with great anticipation that we look forward to seeing him again!

One of our highlights of every PA trip is visiting Lancaster county and making all our favorite, familiar stops along the way. Driving the short 1.5 hour stretch from Pennsburg to Lancaster has become a family tradition! We eat breakfast at our favorite smorgasbord, “Shady Maple” and then visit the gift shop down below that is entirely HUGE – it take about 45 minutes to see everything, if you have already seen it all, and are hurrying through Throughout the day, we “get lost” in Amish country, visiting the Amish stores and touring the scenic farmland. We usually wind down the day with delicious home-made ice cream at Lapp’s dairy farm!

This year we are going to the Sight and Sound Theater, where Bible stories are dramatically acted out in a fantastic way! We discovered the theater a few years ago, and have seen Ruth, David, The Christmas Story, and Sarah and Abraham. This time we are going to see Joseph!!! I can’t wait also, our grandmother is going along for the second time, so we are thrilled!

On the 4th of July we will be watching fireworks at the park in town. Last year we were amazed at how close they were, since we are used to seeing them from far off in the distance. We were actually able to see the men shooting them off in the field in front of us, and the noise was electrifying:-) I think we should wisely take earplugs along this year…

On the 9th of July, Hannah and I head off to our 4th Journey from the Philadelphia airport, while the others drive back to NC. We are going with a team of 7 other young ladies, mostly whom we know very well. It feels strange to be going back for the 4th time, but I can safely say with great confidence that there has never been a Journey not worth the experience! Every time there is something new to learn, something new to examine and work through, something new to apply to life. I am assured that God is going to do a great work in our hearts, and that He will teach us new and wonderful things from His Word!

So…now that you have an idea of where we will be for the next week (some of us for the next 3 weeks), please pray for our family as we set off on this adventure! Pray for our visit to PA because my grandfather has advanced emphysema and we don’t know how long he has to live. Each visit may be the last time we see him, and that is difficult. Pray that we could be a blessing to them. God can do so much in and through each one of us, and He will if we are willing and obedient, open and broken, fully surrendered. When we arrive back from all the busyness of life away from home, there will be exciting new reports and stories to share, all proof of God’s unfailing, unchanging, everlasting love!

Until then, please keep us in your prayers